26th month of 5th era 2020-05-18 (?) · 423 words · 3 min

Yesterday was Norwegian Constitution day.

When I throw a party, I choose a date that makes practical sense. Then I look up wikipedia's page for that day of the month and choose something that I think would be funny to celebrate. Years ago, for my first barbecue of the year, my choice was the bicentennial of Norway's independence.

I put the day on my calendar, and so my memory of it remains. A warm day, promising more warm days to come

I like adding dates to my calendar. I'll suddenly think of a person or event that I want to be reminded of, that isn't frequently commemorated, and note it down. Or else I'll subscribe to calendars that collect holidays, real or fictional. Any excuse to note the passage and recurrence of time.

I've always had a hard time being aware of the passage of weeks, months, and years. Now, of course, it's worse. Now, I make no unplanned trips, no surprise purchases, join nobody nowhere. Most of the ways which I once used to convince myself that I was making progress are denied.

But I still have this site. I changed it to use an idiosyncratic system of dates.

I've been practicing typing on a split keyboard.

I've written most of a game that models an experiment described in an appendix to volume one (the only one I've started reading so far) of Christopher Alexander's The Nature Of Order. Alexander claimed that it was the only approach he found that improved people's ability to perceive the wholeness that's so important to his architectural practice and ethical philosophy. I've been writing it in Elm, a programming language which I've wanted to get more useful practice in, and has its own architectural practices and ethical philosophy.

I also played a game which affected me a great deal: Disco Elysium. It's about the sadness of being unable to escape the past, in both the historic and personal sense, told through the story of a detective so self-destructive that at the start of the game he has actually destroyed his self, rendering him an amnesiac with a bickering internal chorus. It's like Inside Out meets About Schmidt by way of Deus Ex, and is unreasonably well-written.

I've watched a lot of sunsets. I've held myself back from reaching out to a lot of people.

I was able to take a nap, once. To be honest that's the accomplishment of the past month that I'm most impressed with.

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